07.26.10
Crazy Love
I love my daughter. I mean, I really, head-over-heels, love her. She is so cute, so smart, so sweet, so well-behaved, so fun. I know most parents think their kid is the best but, well, most parents haven’t met Anna. She brings so much joy to our lives. I love it when she hugs me, when she climbs on me, when she asks me to do things with her, when we laugh together, when we read together, when I’m singing along with one of her CDs and she says, “No daddy sing.”
As much as I love her, though, God loves her more. But what really leaves me flummoxed, is that as much as I love Anna, God loves me more. I have a really hard time comprehending that. I don’t doubt it, but it is a truth to which I am more inclined to reply, “Yes, that statement is theologically accurate,” than, “I know! Isn’t it awesome?!”
I’ve really been trying to use my love for Anna to better understand, and feel, the Father’s love for me. I don’t doubt for a moment that He loves me — He shows it in so many ways. I just struggle with the emotional connection. First, my heart is so full with my love for Anna, that I have a hard time understanding a love greater than that, let alone a love so perfectly greater than that. Second, I know that He knows what I know. And do. And think. And I know I have grieved Him so many times that I prefer to just gloss over it and say “so many times.” Despite that, He loves me more than anyone ever could love me and more than I ever could love anyone. That’s crazy!
Our community group is reading through Crazy Love right now. It looks at the same question from the other side: Do I love God more than anyone and anything? Am I head-over-heels in love with Him? What should my life look like if I really do love Him as much as I say I do?
Francis Chan has video introductions for each chapter. I like the video for Chapter 8. It resonates with me. I am comfortable with and agree with what he says. I don’t like the video for Chapter 6 as much. That is much harder. Basically, he asks if I love God for who He is, or for what He gives. If you took away all the ways He has blessed me, in this world and the next, do I love Him? Or, (paraphrasing Chan as he paraphrases John Piper) if I could have Heaven with no pain, no sadness, all of my friends and family, but not Jesus, would I be satisfied?
I really, really want to be able to answer “No” to that question. Not because I know that is the “correct” response, but because I want to have that love for Him, that intimacy with Him, that I feel that I could never be satisfied if I don’t have Him. I know that I can’t be fully satisfied without Him, but I want to feel it. I want to long to spend time with Him the way I long to spend time with Anna. Even more, I want to feel His joy at spending time with me, as I feel joy spending time with Anna.
